This is one of the things that I have experienced firsthand, as I become emotional as I get older, I feel my personality is getting deleted or slipping away, and in place of my personality, is another one with much less credibility. That’s why the earlier my death, the earlier I can fix my mistakes. Mistakes that I haven’t admitted to yet. If love is in the air, I am sure that angst is in everyone’s minds. Teenage angst is something I haven’t been able to be mature of.
This is why I also hate myself too much. When I go to purgatory, I would to be in a state of misery, as my peace and rest is taken from me on earth I have no choice but to bury myself with burdens in the afterlife.
When you pick the only option you have to choose from, can you really call that your own decision? Do you know the phrase “enough specks of dust creates a mountain”? Or maybe “three heads are better than one.” In other words, when people gathered together, they become even stronger and more secure. However, we were a group of failures who had gathered to do pointless things.
The time again where the pressure of schoolwork is pressing down on my bones, giving me my much awaited death, still, I digress. Unfortunately, I still can’t die peacefully, as my own classmates are persuading me with words like “You can meet your much awaited death at Thursday, where nothing is done.” My policy is: Be the person you needed when you were a child. To which I became like this, bringing up my facade to a maximum and only lifting it in front of my friends or the mirror. Why I have suicidal tendencies is because of the people I hanged out with, the kind of people where you consider weird is par for the course in my circles. At least I’m not like that certain person that considers social suicides as a pastime, does not accept charity, and rejects people whom likes him.
This is why death is something I look forward to, it’s also because of “measles” I heard that when you get this kinds of measles, when you get over it you become immune. So I decided to be rational and try it out.
This man, this morbid author, this descendant of cthulhu, is a man after my own heart. His works about his ancestor are the best as he himself becomes the next cthulhu, his works made my outlook on life bleaker than before, which is good.
Now all my tales are based on the fundamental premise that common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large. To me there is nothing but puerility in a tale in which the human form—and the local human passions and conditions and standards—are depicted as native to other worlds or other universes. To achieve the essence of real externality, whether of time or space or dimension, one must forget that such things as organic life, good and evil, love and hate, and all such local attributes of a negligible and temporary race called mankind, have any existence at all. Only the human scenes and characters must have human qualities. These must be handled with unsparing realism, (not catch-penny romanticism) but when we cross the line to the boundless and hideous unknown—the shadow-haunted Outside—we must remember to leave our humanity and terrestrialism at the threshold. -H.P. Lovecraft
The sanity that most people have are at the level of a person with no disabilities (Common sense level: None). The sanity of the publisher of this blog, is actually much more lower than you think, if you think that it’s low based on my posts, think again. My life as I know it is full of me being the one who needs to fulfill certain requirements; for example, my mother not knowing how determined am I when it comes to completing her requests, asks me one of the impossible (which I think back then was possible). I needed to change my policies in life because of her request. No I will never tell anyone what request she asked of me. Even if you could, I can’t remember anything in my elementary days through my most of my high school. I got eaten by the system I wholly opposed, and as a result, my demons were released in the form of my own poison (that the only thing that affects is me) which is laziness.
My demons will never be contained, if they can be even contained, they will always escape. As they are with me, whispering sweet nothings until I give in.
My sacrifices should only affect me, if it would affect anyone, it would surely be the ones who I sacrifice myself for.
After his brother’s death, Poe began more earnest attempts to start his career as a writer. He chose a difficult time in American publishing to do so. He was the first well-known American to try to live by writing alone and was hampered by the lack of an international copyright law.Publishers often produced unauthorized copies of British works rather than paying for new work by Americans. The industry was also particularly hurt by the Panic of 1837. There was a booming growth in American periodicals around this time period, fueled in part by new technology, but many did not last beyond a few issues and publishers often refused to pay their writers, or paid them much later than they promised. Throughout his attempts to live as a writer, Poe repeatedly had to resort to humiliating pleas for money and other assistance.
On October 3, 1849, Poe was found delirious on the streets of Baltimore, “in great distress, and… in need of immediate assistance”, according to Joseph W. Walker who found him. He was taken to the Washington Medical College where he died on Sunday, October 7, 1849 at 5:00 in the morning.
Japan surely makes some of the best animation directors ever lived, the only thing I could ask from this man is more animations.
In 1995, Miyazaki began work on Princess Mononoke. Starring the voices of Yuriko Ishida, Yōji Matsuda, Akihiro Miwa and Yūko Tanaka, the story is about a struggle between the animal spirits inhabiting the forest and the humans exploiting the forest for industry, culminating in an uneasy co-existence and boundary transcending relationships between the main characters. In Mononoke he revisits the ecological and political themes and continues his cinematic exploration of the transience of existence he began in Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Both films have their roots in ideas and artwork he created in the late 1970s and early 1980s but Helen McCarthy notes that Miyazaki’s vision has developed, “from the utopian visions of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind to the mature and kindly humanism of Princess Mononoke“. The film was released on July 19, 1997 and was both a financial and critical success; it won the Japan Academy Prize for Best Picture. Yvonne Tasker notes, “Princess Mononoke marked a turning point in Miyazaki’s career not merely because it broke Japanese box office records, but also because it, arguably, marked the emergence (through a distribution deal with Disney) into the global animation markets”. Miyazaki went into semi-retirement after directing Princess Mononoke. In working on the film, Miyazaki redrew 80,000 of the film’s frames himself. He also stated at one point that Princess Mononoke would be his last film. Tokuma Shoten merged with Studio Ghibli that June.